Step 1: Breastfeed an insatiable baby in the middle of a growth spurt.
Step 2: Eliminate dairy, your main food group, due to your baby’s allergy.
Step 3: Eliminate bread and cookies, your second and third major food groups, by visiting and staying with a family that eats gluten free.
Step 4: Play “dodge the drunk uncle” as everyone but you refills their wine glasses
Step 5: Weep silently into your plate of rabbit food as you watch your family members devour a pile of buttery mashed potatoes
Step 6: Abandon your plate of rabbit food halfway through to attend to a baby who has managed to shoot poop out the front, back, and sides of a diaper.
Step 7: Carry a 15 pound weight up the stairs 20 times a day in an attempt to get said weight to take a nap
Step 8: Run up and down the stairs every ten minutes to check whether the baby is sleeping (spoiler alert: she’s not)
Step 9: Walk 1/2 mile with a 15 pound weight to get said weight to finally fall asleep
Step 10: Hold a 15 pound weight over your head to keep said weight away from overly enthusiastic dogs